Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i think i just lost a toe
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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