the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
