She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
