ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Randomize
