my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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