I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Too much gin, very little bucket
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How external is "for external use only"?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
