So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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