I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
