do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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