woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
