I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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