Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
