I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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