Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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