Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
