Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
