She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
