Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
