I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
false alarm. still invincible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
