We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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