if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
