i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
my poor anus
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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