we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
