One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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