It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
