We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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