I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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