Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
