I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
