those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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