yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
