She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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