I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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