I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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