so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
