we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
