i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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