I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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