i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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