Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
