Life is so much better after having sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When did angry sex become our thing?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
