can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
