Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
