just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
