i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They took my balls.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
