We won't sleep together?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
