ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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