dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
