All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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