I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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