He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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