Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
