i don't like sucking hair
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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