TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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